Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Um, that's not me.

I receive weekly emails from Morgan State University.  It's in Maryland.  I only know where this godforsaken school is because of the emails.  Been getting them for like two years.  I even marked that shit to go to my junk folder and it didn't work.  It's like a hybrid newsletter that is undetectable to a spam filter.

I receive these emails because someone named Candance Wilson attended school there.  Oh.  That's not my name.  Candace Wilson did not go to Morgan State University.

Easy fix, right?  After the first month of getting tired of deleting them I tried to unsubscribe.  But the unsubscribe didn't work or something.  I got directed to the university's website, got confused, got irritated, and gave up.  I'm computer literate and not easily confused, but this was a waste of my time and I didn't feel like dealing with it.

I even responded to the email saying something along the lines of "I'm not Candance Wilson, I'm Candace Wilson.  Easy mistake, I'm not mad, we can still be friends, but stop fucking emailing me, okay?"  The response was "Candance!  So glad you are enjoying the newsletters!  Sea Lions for life!" [I made the sea lion mascot part up, I don't know what their mascot is.]

I don't know where I'm going with this.  But I do know I'm not changing my email address to avoid the email Nazis of Morgan State University.  It's straight forward.  No crazy shit characters or random numbers, it makes me happy.  When someone asks for my email I just say it and they get it, and that's fucking awesome.  I don't have to spell out, "beiberFANZ4life54856318@blibbityblah.com" or something crazy like that.  And anyway, if I was dedicating my email address to any singer/band for life it would be NKOTB.  And for those of you who don't know what NKOTB stands for, why are you on my blog?  [Oh geeze, I already have tomorrow's post written in my head just from writing that.  YES.]

Random story, I do have a friend that currently spells my name "Candance" though.  He spelled it like that for all of 6th grade, and when I corrected him he thought it would be even funnier to keep doing it.  That was 17 years ago.  

And that last line just made me think of High Fidelity: "I can't fire them.  I hired them for three days a week and they just started coming in every day.  That was four years ago."

And THAT, my friends, is how my mind works.  See y'all tomorrow. 

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