Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Dear me, from me.

Dear Candace,

Hi.  It's you, 20 years from now.  Currently you're really stressed out about everything.  I would like to tell you to calm down and let go, because there is nothing you can do about it and your life would be so much easier and happier if you just. let. go.  Think about how important these things will be in 20 years, then laugh, because you will see how ridiculous you are being.

You currently have an amazing husband, a 4-year-old, a 1-year-old, 2 dogs, wonderful friends, and a beautiful house that you love.  Those reasons alone are enough for you to stop worrying.  So please, stop.

Now you're Mommy, but 20 years from now, you're just Mom.  That energetic cackling 4-year-old and sweet snuggly little 1-year-old are now 24 and 21.  No matter how hard being a parent seemed, you never gave up and you never stop trying for these children, and now it shows.  They are successful, well balanced, healthy adults that are thriving in life.  You have done your job and their success if the fruit of your labor, so please, don't stop trying.  No matter how hard it seems, the most important job you have in this life is to be their Mom.  They grow up fast.  Faster than you can blink.  Cherish this time.  Color with them.  Build legos.  Play dolls.  Tickle them.  Let them stay up with you and snuggle with them.  They will carry memories of you and their Daddy with them wherever life takes them, be sure they have a lot to take.

In your life right now, Lily is already 1.  She is growing up so fast, too fast.  Stop and watch it happen, please, I beg of you, slow down.  You can't stop her from growing up, but you can make sure you're enjoying and aware of every minute of it.  And if she doesn't want to wear the bows it is okay, you know tomboy well too, go with whatever she wants.

Kade is so smart.  Right now he is just a 4-year-old.  You expect too much of him.  You talk to him like an adult and expect him to be able to reason things rationally.  He is 4-years-old.  Let him be little.  Let him make mistakes, and yes, discipline him when he is wrong, but you have to let it go.  You have to remember that he's a child that wants nothing more than to sit and read a book with you.  Slow down, read the book, play monster trucks.  Do it all.  In about 3 years he'll want nothing to do with you and you'll sit and cry and wish for this little boy to come back and want to sit in your lap and watch Avatar.

You and Nick have been married for 23 years now.  Never forget the little things in life, those turn out to be the big things, and the things that thought were big and important can't even come to memory at the moment.  Hold hands, kiss before you leave for work, spend time together, every second possible.  Remember how much you love this man and how much he loves you.  Never forget how lucky you are that he chose you to spend forever with.  Think back to how much fun the first three years of marriage were, and keep that love, fun, and happiness alive.  You are so lucky to have found your soul mate and best friend when you did, so cherish all the time you have with him.

Call your Grandma more, you're going to regret it if you don't.  She'll be someone you will always miss no matter how old you get.  And spend every chance you get with your parents.  They loved you first, and still love you more than anything to this very day, never forget that.  You too now know the love a parent has for a child.

Whenever life gets overwhelming, read this letter.  Any time you think things are spinning out of control think to yourself, "Will this matter in 20 years?"

Hugs those babies tight tonight, and every night after that.  They will be in their 20s before you know it.


One more thing, stop making this face, it's unattractive.

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